AN OPEN LETTER TO READERS OF
THE SUN "NEWSPAPER"
Dear Sun "readers",
Doesn't it bother you how the Sun talks down to you?
Doesn't it bother you how the Sun assumes you're a braying moron whose only interest is telly, tits and tackles? Are the football results really all you look for in a paper? Speaking of football...
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| Just one reason to hate the Sun—as if you needed reminding. |
Doesn't it bother you how the Sun, as in the example above, insistently uses the word "cops" to describe police officers? I thought the Sun was the last bastion of All Things British.
Doesn't it bother you how the Sun clearly despises its readership and regards them as one rung above amoebae in the brain department? All you have to do is read the thing for five minutes: it's written in such base, uncomplicated English that even a toddler could understand it... and they market this paper to grown men. I haven't seen such open contempt for one's readers since Mark Twain's Christian Science essay (and that, mark my words, is the only comparison between the Sun and Samuel Clemens you will EVER fucking see)
Doesn't it bother you how the Sun acts like its frothing, barely-disguised racial hatred is, according to them, a perfectly normal English trait?
Doesn't it bother you how the Sun has always made an enemy of trade unions, when it's (sadly) the working men those unions protect that make up the Sun's core audience?
Doesn't it bother you and make you squirm in hot, sticky embarrassment when the Sun refers to the England football team as "our boys", or the British Army as "our lads" (they might be yours but they're not fucking mine)?
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| Another reason to hate the Sun, because "GOTCHA" is not an appropriate response to the loss of over 1000 human lives, regardless of whether there's a war on or not |
Doesn't it bother you that, with every page of the Sun you turn, you're adding to the already-ungodly power of Rupert Murdoch, billionaire tyrant and the closest thing this planet has ever come to a real-life Skeletor?
Doesn't it bother you how, despite not even being from this country, the aforementioned billionaire tyrant Rupert Murdoch uses the Sun to influence British politics in his own devious favour?
Doesn't it bother you that you're laying your money down for an oxymoron (that is, a newspaper without news)?
Doesn't it bother you that the Sun is the print equivalent of ITV: written and produced entirely for thick people?
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| This trash is what passes for news to Murdoch's minions. And to think: journalism used to be a respectable profession. |
Doesn't it bother you that the Sun is Britain's biggest-selling newspaper? And doesn't what that says about Britain bother you even more?
Doesn't it bother you at all?
Doesn't it bother you at all?
Let me know, because I just can't understand how this brightly-coloured, anti-intellectual, anti-progress, anti-anybody-who-isn't-white bumwad sells two million copies every month.
Love, Gregg
